Cherry Blossoms
by GothDevilKitty
Summary: He abandoned me. Abandoned me when all I wanted was to feel like he cared. Always the foot note and not the lead. What did he expect would happen? I know if he knew about us.... He would be angry and I don't even care anymore
1. My Letter

I was always just a side note. I watched as their popularity soared, how the businesses would pop up all over the city. Turtle Co. was everywhere. I would wonder if they ever thought of the old times. Of that time so long ago when we were teenagers. They all had their lives. Mike had the orphanage with Gabrielle. Don had his inventions still to relay on to keep him busy.

But what stung was Raphael, he married a woman by the name of Mezcaal and has been happy ever since. We wrote for years before, and I never chose to come back to New York to see him. By the time I was nineteen I learned he had fallen for a fox named Ninjara and I had been completely forgotten. I had thought that somewhere in that head of his I held some special place. Something that would linger inside of him. But I wasn't. My contact, my friend told me that the relationship had lasted years until finally Ninjara chose to end it. She remained in Alaska for many years. My research had shown she had mothered several children by the one she stayed for. Mokoshan.

It had hurt Raphael in plenty of ways. Leo would later write to me how Raphael went on like nothing had changed. Like he hadn't fallen in love at all with someone. A glimmer of hope had come. I came back to New York, to…. Try and at least get back into contact with Leo and his brothers. I was greeted by a glare from Raphael the moment I stepped in. But I stayed for Leo. I talked with him and kept him entertained when he had spare moments. Splinter….. Sensei.. Whatever I called him back then cared so much. He let me sit in on their practices their training and I was always impressed. It had been Leo who suggested I joined them one night. This spear headed my hobby of learning martial arts. In months I had been able to spar with Leo and Raph both respectfully. And sometimes I would win.

My head had become so very messed up after living among them for so long. I had dined and watched bad movies. Drank beer and burped stupid songs. I wanted to stay, wanted to keep them company. But I knew that if I had stayed… Inevitably Raph would see through the web of well constructed lies. He only cared when he was drunk. He would tell me about Ninjara, the relationship and how it ended. And he would occasionally ask if I ever regret us. How we didn't last long. And I would always answer the same each time. We had been young and stupid, you can be in love with someone, but if you can't truly be happy with them without damage being done… It's worth nothing.

I had my heart in a locked box. With dozens of chains and locks. Promising I would never set myself up for disappointment again. Not from Raph… Not from anyone. I had so many conflicting thoughts during that time. I would meditate with Leo and try to come to peace with my conflicts. With all the screaming going on in my head and especially in my heart. But it never worked. There would be silence for only so long before the noise would come back again.

My heart had let go of the sadness I shoved onto myself and chose to reach out to someone else. And spite all my effort… My heart reached out and pulled itself into another heart. That heart and mine knew the truth. But the bodies and minds attached… We were just a little too stubborn to admit such a thing out loud.


	2. Summer 1998

**Summer time, 1998**

She had been there for almost two years. She hadn't been able to sleep that night, blaming the alcohol she had plenty of hours before. Mona let a sigh escape her as she sat on the roof ledge. Watching how the faint clouds swirled in the sky above. Her last beer still hooked between two fingers of her left hand. She had nearly half of the liquid still left. The alcohol had been making her head spin. A gentle breeze skimmed along her back and played with strands of her hair.

"I thought you'd be out here," A voice said.

She glanced over her shoulder to see Leonardo standing not to far behind her. She turned back to look at the view and he walked towards the ledge. She then heard him sit down next to her and faintly heard the sound of liquid swishing around in a bottle.

"It was too nice of a night to stay cooped up inside," She replied.

"Or you had your fill of Raph complaining," He said.

She gave a small smile, "Ya got me, Leo."

He returned her small smile with one of his own.

"What's the plan now?" She asked. "Everyone seems to be wanting to go their separate ways."

"Some are," Leo said.

She smiled and leaned her weight on her free hand.

"I liked your dojo idea," she said.

He raised an eye ridge at her, she then gently bopped her head on his shoulder.

"You were actually listening to me ramble on about that?" he asked.

"Yes," she said. "You think I'd ignore you? Come on Leo. Give me some credit."

She could feel something swimming in her stomach. A familiar sensation, one she had ignored for years.

"You should do it," She said, looking away from him. "It'll give you a chance to give kids a fighting chance to survive. To not get sucked into gangs and early deaths."

She could feel him watching her. For some reason it brought a pink flush to her cheeks and made her want to cover her eyes. She gave a nervous chuckle.

"Really been thinking about it have you?" he asked.

She bit her bottom lip, "Yes. It's something else to think of.. A good distraction."

That feeling in her stomach grew heavier and now bore spikes. Four years of friendship. Living along side Leo and the others. How could she have not known what was happening? Right underneath her nose… In her own head… That idea scared her. She got up and made her way back to the access back to the inside. He watched her with a confused expression.

Once she had nearly run down the stairs she found herself tapping the back of her head on the wall, just next to the door to the flat they all shared. This wasn't like her. Mona Lisa was not one to be chicken shit. She wanted to help him bring the Dojo to life. To train students along side him. Sip Sake out in the open with him, underneath a cherry tree. She exhaled and chose to walk into the main room. She found Mike passed out on the couch with Raph sprawled out on the floor. She flicked off the TV set and covered the two of them up with a throw blanket. She made her way towards her room. A great deal of the time the guys didn't stay at her apartment. Unless they were drinking. She never minded it too much.. Save for tonight. After she changed into her pjs she crawled into bed and covered her eyes.

"I'm just drunk. It's not love, it's not true. It's just… the beer," She mumbled.


	3. Winter 1998

**Winter 1998**

She kicked snow of the ledge of the roof. Her apartment already felt so empty now. Mikey had gone on to Hawaii a month previously. Raph had chosen to just leave. No word on where he was going… Don chose to stay in the city. Not even a phone call away. Leo had been the one who chose to take up Mona's slightly joke offer of co habitation. Two months he's lived with her, and for some strange reason it made her far beyond comfortable. He was like a live in teacher. Once she would see during all times of the day, practicing, eating.. Sleeping. She was waiting for him to come back from a errand downtown. She woke up this morning feeling like everything had changed.

Before she was even aware of it she was walking back inside. Her timing seemed crazy on this day, since she had just appeared in time to see Leo walk in and lock the door behind him. But there was no smile on his face. She walked over towards him and could feel something clinging to him like wet cloth.

"Splinter is dying," He mumbled.

She walked over towards him and gently put her hands onto his shoulders. He leaned down towards her and she felt his chin rest on the top of her head. She moved her arms so she could put her arms around him. At least best she could. She sucked in a breath when she felt him return the gesture. He smelled like sandalwood incense and remotely like cherry blossoms. They stood like this for several moments.

"Do you want to go back to be with him?" She asked. "I could drive you."

"He cares about you too, Mona. You should come along," He said.

She could hear his voice in his chest, alongside his steady breathing. She wondered if she moved her head up just a little… Would he lean farther down in return?

"Okay," She said. "We… should go soon."

He moved just slightly. His chin glanced off the top of her head and it made her look up at him. She found his mouth so close to hers and started to go up onto her toes to bridge that small gap.. At least until they heard someone pounding on the door. It was like a snap. He dropped his arms from around her and stood up straight again. She folded her arms in front of her chest as Leo opened the door. Raph was on the other side wearing a snow speckled trench coat.

"Mikey called me and told me," Raph said. "Are the two of you about to leave?"

Mona noticed the rather annoyed look in Leo's eyes.

"Yes," He said. "And you chose us to harass for a ride?"

"More like a tag along," Raph said.

She sighed, "Let's go then."

The drive to the Japanese timber house Splinter had was a long quiet drive. She remembered a time almost a lifetime ago, when she helped her friends build the house with Splinter. He was so full of life back then. Funny how a lifetime away was only three years previously. She glanced over at Leo, sitting in the passenger seat. His elbow was up near the window with a hand covering his eyes. She wanted to reach over and squeeze his free hand. She almost did. She sucked in a breath and tightened her grip on the steering wheel.

"Mikey's mentioned he wants to start up a orphanage," Raph said, breaking up the silence.

"He's always been good with kids," Leo almost mumbled.

"It's weird ya know," Raph said. "Everyone's going their separate ways. Maybe it's something in the air."

"Or perhaps we all finally grew up," Leo said.

Mona could feel Raph staring a hole into the back of her head.

"What do you intend on doing, Raph?" Mona asked.

"I'm not entirely sure yet. Maybe travel," he said.

In the back of her mind she knew what he meant. 'Traveling' meant finding Ninjara and trying to start things over again with her. It should have been like a stab to her heart. But it wasn't. Instead it was like a very minor ache.. Like a stitch in her side. The wind drifted the leaves across the slightly snowed over street in front of Mona's SUV.

"What about you, Leo?" Raph asked.

"I'm going to collect garden gnomes and call them my undead army," Leo retorted.

Raph snorted in return, "Seriously, Leo."

"I'm going to start a Dojo, to train kids to protect themselves," Leo said.

Mona watched the road and rubbed her neck.

"Mona's going to be helping me," He finished.

She glanced at him, he in return just watched her back. There was something in the look that made things swim in her stomach.

"Didn't think you were much for that," Raph said.

"It's interesting what living with a few ninjas do to you," Mona replied.

Raph chuckled at that.

Mona sat on the back wooden deck of Splinter's home. The house had always been such a peaceful place, and felt like a whole other world. You could never mistake the house for any other on the old dirt road either. It had been a beautiful style house. She sat watching the snow drifting across the cobble stone path as she twisted a few pieces of twine between her hands. She felt a heavy weight come around her shoulders and glanced up. She found Leo standing just off to the side of her placing a goose down blanket around her. He then sat down next to her and pulled the blanket around himself as well. He found his attention going to the snow.

"Splinter's finally asleep, and Raph is arguing with Mikey about something asinine," Leo said.

She glanced at him a moment, "I hope the arguing is quiet."

"It is," He said, rubbing the back of his neck. "About earlier… Mona.."

"Which earlier? You saying I agreed to help you with the Dojo? Or what almost happened before Raph showed up?" She asked.

"The last one," He said. "It… I wasn't sure what I had been thinking just then."

She sighed, "Maybe we both didn't know what we were thinking. You're my best friend Leo, my favorite room mate and the biggest neat freak I've ever known."

Mona turned her head to look at him and found him watching her again. A cold wind passed them and she moved closer to him. They both tucked their legs up to their chests and pulled the blanket tighter around them.

"He resents me for it," Leo said quietly.

"What?" she asked softly.

"The friendship, that I chose to stay living with you. That it doesn't bother you in the least he tossed you aside. I almost think he believes there is something between us that he can prevent from happening," he quietly said.

"Do you think there is something between us?" She asked.

"Don't say it don't say it," She thought and prayed, looking at him.

"I don't know," He replied.

She watched his mouth as he breathed. She found one of her hands going up to press against the side of his jaw. He leaned closer and down towards her. Cautiously she moved her face towards his, afraid there would be another interruption. She couldn't close her eyes and she found herself sitting so very still with her mouth just hairs away from his. He then moved the last tiny bit of space. She was slightly confused, not sure if she should return it or not. If she should push him away… But something else in her mind took over. It stayed a chaste brief kiss. Maybe it wasn't the right time or circumstance. The short kiss didn't seem to phase them on the outside in appearance.

"It's late," He said. "Perhaps some sleep would be a good idea."

They both got up and took the blanket with them. The timber house had plenty of room for everyone to sleep comfortably and alone if they wished. But Mona realized walking through the living room that the other three brothers chose to sleep in a 'turtle pile' on a few fold mattresses on the floor. She chose not to join them and instead retired into her small room in the house. She changed into a tee shirt and shorts to sleep in and curled up into bed. As she drifted towards sleep she wondered if perhaps she was just too on edge and that's why she felt nothing with the kiss. She drifted off to sleep with a empty clear mind.

She awoke a couple of hours later to hear the sliding paper door of her room moving. She rubbed one of her eyes to see someone slipping in and the door closing again. She gripped the blankets and braced herself for what may come. She thought it was perhaps Raph wishing to talk to her, however the smell of sandalwood and cherry blossoms when the someone came closer made her ease her grip on the blankets. She just pulled them back, in a silent offer for him to join her. Once before he had joined her in bed, she had been extremely sick and wanted a warm body to hold onto. That one time he had joined her in bed, she slept so well. She loved how good she slept. He had also ended up sleeping in that day as well, missing out of his plans and training.

The cotton and goose down shifted as he made himself comfortable. She waited for him stop moving before she adjusted how she lay. She stayed on her back and moved closer towards him. One of his arms draped over her stomach and he almost leaned over her but didn't crush her under his weight. His other arm was behind her neck with his hand in her hair. She breathed in the smell of him and pulled the blankets back over them.

"Raph still snores like a lumberjack," Leo mumbled.

"Things never change," She replied.

"Being out there is like standing in a chorus of lumber jacks," he said. "It's definitely more quiet in here."

She chuckled at his comment.

He mumbled something that sounded like 'trying again'. The hand on her stomach moved up her side until a cool hand rest on the side of her cheek. She swallowed and found him coaxing her with that hand to look at him.

"Maybe you spoil me a little," he said, quiet.

First she felt his bottom lip brush her lips. Her face felt warm and she wondered if the brush was a accident. She was about to ask what he was doing when he pressed his mouth against hers. It took her a moment to return the kiss. It was light and slightly awkward in the darkness. She broke the kiss and chose to get comfortable again. She felt like it did change things… but it also didn't.

"Maybe I do," she replied, sleepily. "But you seem to don't mind it."

She moved closer to him and onto her side. He gave a sleepy sigh as she tucked her head underneath his chin.

"You think he'll make it through this?" Leo asked, voice soft and almost quiet.

Mona bit her bottom lip and traced a pattern on the pectoral plate in front of her.

"Splinter is a tough old man," She whispered. "He's been through far worse before and survived."

Fingers went through her hair. So much comfort and peace. A large contrast to the discomfort and discontent she had muscled through before with Raph. Her heart felt like it had been stabbed suddenly at the thought of him. She shook her head to shake the bad thoughts away.

Several hours later she found herself waking up. It was still dark outside and she moved one arm to see if Leo was still asleep. She found his side of the bed empty. She got up and padded towards the sliding door to her room.

"Oh horse shit," She heard someone say.

She opened the doors a crack to see Raph pointing at Leo. Leo had his arms folded in front of his chest.

"What are you trying to prove, Raph? I don't have to lay out my entire personal life out for your personal approval," Leo said.

"I'm trying to prove a point," Raph said. "You should stay out of her personal life."

"I LIVE with her Raph," Leo said. "That makes it kind of hard to stay out of it. I'm getting sick of you making everything some kind of competition. What.. Is she some kind of prize you think you have the right to hold onto?"

Raph glared at him, and Leo glared back.

"Why did you chose to stay there?" Raph asked.

"Because I wanted to stay. Had you ever considered what you did before to her?" Leo asked back.

"I did nothing to her," Raph snapped.

"You compared her to Ninjara. She came back to the lair to find us because of you. I watched how you.." Leo sighed, then closed his eyes a moment. "You brushed her aside like her showing up didn't mean something. It pissed me off. And now… You seem to think you jumping in and doing this will get you something."

Mona narrowed her eyes, confused and vision slightly blurry.

"You want to know why I'm doing this?" Raph asked. "Since I was thrown aside…"

"Thrown aside? From what you yelled at me about.. It was MUTUAL." Leo retorted.

"I chose to settle for her," Raph said.

"What the fuck," Leo said lowly. "She's the fall back? You're that pathetic now?"

"I met her before you did," Raph growled. "Or does that not even matter to you?"

"That doesn't mean a damn thing," Leo growled back.

"A relationship with her is only doomed for failure, Leo. Last time I checked you weren't that much in the 'dating material' category for her. Or honestly for anyone else," Raph stated.

She heard the sound of knuckles hitting Raph's chin. Raph spit at Leo's feet.

"This is why I was glad you moved out of our apartment," Leo growled. "Conversations like this.. That always stressed me out and got me furious. You're unhappy so you want everyone else to be. You need to grow up. Like the rest of us did without you."

Raph growled and grabbed his coat, "I don't need this shit, especially from you. I need some fresh air."

Leo re folded his arms in front of his chest and watched Raph exit. He turned to see Mona standing in the half open doorway behind him.

"How long have you been standing there?" He asked.

"Since 'horse shit'," Mona said.

He sighed, "I apologize if we woke you up."

"You two always woke me up in the past," Mona said. "I just used to always ignore it and go back to sleep."

"I'm really starting to think Raph throwing up this much of a stink means he sees something neither of us are," he said.

She bit her bottom lip, "I'm not ready for things to change. I enjoy how things are with us now. To me.. Things like this… with you.. Is like a Bonsai."

He looked close to relieved with what she had said.

"Can we get back to sleep now?" He asked, amused.

"That would be nice," She replied.


	4. New Years 1998

**New Years Eve 1998:**

Mona sat across from Leo, the short tea table between them. Splinter sat at the head of the table. The spirit seemed to be light hearted this night. Splinter raised the decanter and refilled Leo and Mona's small cups with more sake.

"Things are better now," Splinter said, gently placing the decanter back down on the table. "I appreciate the two of you choosing to come here for the holiday."

Mona sipped her sake in silence. The new year was only a hour away. 1999. She wasn't sure what the new year would bring. She hoped happiness.

"You have any plans for the new year?" Leo asked.

"Perhaps I shall plant some cherry trees in the back yard. The terrain seems just right for them," Splinter said.

"Maybe you should add some jasmine in there too," Mona suggested. "It would make the backyard colorful and very fragrant."

Splinter gave a thoughtful look as he sipped his sake.

"Have you made much progress with the Dojo ?" he asked.

"Yes, Splinter. We hope to open the dojo at the end of January," Leo said.

Mona adjusted the sleeve of her kimono.

"I would love to see it soon," Splinter said. "Any endeavor you chose to partake never fails to impress."

Mona gave a small smile at that.

"You've been rather quiet tonight, Mona," Leo said.

"Just… thinking," She said. "About the year that's about to pass."

Her training had gone so well in the past few months. They would stay up late so many nights practicing. Mona had excelled in using the Sais and only had been able to handle one katana. There wasn't repeats of the kiss Leo had stolen in Mona's room in the timber house. After that night they chose to sleep in the same room most nights.

"I feel this new year will bring good things within this family. The prospects are good," Splinter said.

In the other room, the radio played sweet melodies. They reminded Mona of old Japanese music boxes she had seen in a antique shop. Splinter looked over at the wall clock, a calm smile came to his face.

"The new year is only a few moments away," he said getting up.

Leo and Mona watched him get up and go to the other room to turn the station over to another. This one was some kind of news feed for the party going on in NYC. Splinter then picked up his sake cup and walked towards the back door. Leo and Mona followed his lead. The three of them stood outside watching the dark night sky with it's twinkling stars.

"You have turned onto one of the family, Mona Lisa. It warms my heart that you choose to remain with us," Splinter said softly.

Mona smiled, and gently hugged Splinter. He draped a arm around her waist and returned the gesture.

"Thank you, Sensei." She said softly.

The New year count down echoed in the house, and the three of them stood sipping their sake. The shouts of 'Happy New Year' echoed finally and Splinter broke out in a grin. Mona gave Splinter a kiss on his cheek, which made Splinter's grin get wider.

"And now I shall retire. Goodnight to you my children, and Happy New Year," He said.

He made his way back inside and closed the sliding screen closed quietly. Leo looked over at Mona, who kept her eyes on the trees and sipping her sake.

"I have been thinking," He said.

She glanced over at him, "About the Dojo?"

"Partly," He said. "That, the apartment.. The two of us. The dojo has a larger apartment above it. We could move into there. It would seem more realistic. And more space."

She raised a eye ridge and looked at him.

"Bonzai tree remember, Mona?" He asked, with a slight chuckle.

"Yes I remember," She said. "If you want to go that route, then I'll follow."

"Don't follow, Mona. Do it because you want to. Not because I'm doing it," He said. "I want you to do the move with me. You're a comfort to me."

"I'm safe," She said.

"Yes," he replied.

She gave a small smile and turned to go back inside. He put a hand onto one of her wrists and pulled her to look at him. He stepped over to get closer to her. She turned just enough to place her free hand on the front of his chest. He looked down at her, a calm look in his eyes.

"When should we start moving?" She asked.

"Tomorrow," he said. "I rather get it done soon as possible, so we can properly settle in."

"That'll be nice," She said.

Her hand dropped from his chest and she turned to go inside again. His other hand rest on her side.

"You're not going to let me go back inside are you?" She asked raising a eyebrow.

"Just stand out here and relax," he said. "It wouldn't hurt either of us."

She gave him a small smile.

"You can admit you just want to enjoy the scenery and quiet you know," She replied.

"I know," he replied.

"Or it's the company," She said.

"Maybe," he said.

She rolled her eyes, "You going to let me go to bed or keep me out here until my fingers turn blue?"

He laughed, "Sorry."

"Chatter box Leo," She mused. "Which means one of two things.. You're tired and you're fighting it. Or you're nervous about something and trying to ignore it."

"The first one," He said. "I'm going to stay out here for awhile longer, get some sleep."

She gave a mock salute then went on her tip toes and gave him a brief kiss. After a moment it was returned and she went back inside.

"Happy New Year," he said as she disappeared inside.

"Happy New Year," She repeated.

Several hours later she found her sleep interrupted by the phone beside the bed. Leo mumbled something in his sleep and she picked up the receiver. She was about to croak out a greeting when the gruff voice on the other side beat her to it.

"Mona?" the voice asked.

Mona cursed silently, hand over the receiver. She sighed and uncovered the receiver.

"Yeah," She said. "Hey Raph. Happy New Year."

"It has to be pretty late there ain't it?" He asked.

"Very," Mona replied. "Splinter's asleep."

"It's… probably not a good time to talk to you is it?" he asked.

"Not really," Mona said, having a feeling she knew where this was going. "… Where are you Raph?"

"Australia," Raph replied.

"… the 'talking' you speak of Raph.. Is it to catch up or bitch at me?" Mona asked.

"When have I ever bitched at you?" he asked in return.

"When the sky is blue, when you're liquored up. When you realized I didn't have brown fur," Mona said.

"You're not being fair with me, Mona," Raph said.

"I'm not? I heard you yelling at Leo when Splinter was sick, Raphael. I'm not your property and you have no right to dictate my life either. Nor Leo's," Mona said.

She heard him sigh on the other end. She knew he was scrubbing his face with a hand.

"I've been a real ass lately, and it's not on purpose," Raph said.

"I don't believe you," Mona said. "Too many times I found you stumbling into my room after your binge drinking. Too many times I had to clean up messes you made of me and of my room. You reduced me to a cock socket."

"It wasn't on purpose!" He shouted.

"You knew how infatuated I had been with you. And you never seemed to care about it. I tried for seven YEARS to get you to see me the way I saw you. But you never did! You were always so wrapped up in yourself… Never any time for me. Then you were wrapped up in Ninjara and that was the end of it. No one compares to her in your eyes. Not me, not anyone else. I'm not important and I'm not even special to you. I'm just a … Thing… you think you have a right to. You aren't going to settle for me Raphael. Because I won't let you. I made my choice who to be with and you had nothing to do with it," Mona said as she sat up in bed.

"I never intended any of it to happen," Raph said quietly. "I'm sorry it did."

"You need to stop being wrapped up in yourself Raph and think of the other person sometime. It might change your point of view. Now please, let me go back to sleep and go on with my night," Mona said.

He was quiet for a moment.

"I know you're sorry about it Raphael," she said quietly. "Sometimes.. So am I."

She hung up the phone and covered her face with her hands. She wondered if she had been right in what she said. She found faults in her actions in the past before. Never actually admitting anything to him. Not voicing protest, not telling him when she wasn't in the mood. She let him do those things to her without a compliant. She was to blame just as much as he was. She lay back to get comfortable in bed again. The arm was replaced across her stomach and she tilted her head towards him. The steady breathing lulling her back to sleep.


	5. Spring 1999

**Spring 1999:**

By the time the weather had grown warmer the hopes for the Dojo had went onto the back burner. Mona had high hopes to complete it and have it running by the Summer. But as the saying goes 'things change'. Mona and Leo found themselves moving back into the sewer lair and co existing with his brothers. It had been a choice they came to on their own. Before they had even began to un pack Leo had found himself being requested for private counsel by Splinter.

Mona knew she could have asked to sit in on the meeting. She was well enough with leaning against the wall near Splinter's quarters. Raph had less stealth tactics and stood at the door, his face partially in the crack of the door.

"There is one last task you must complete, Leonardo," Splinter said.

Leo watched as Splinter paced the floor the once rarely used cane now in definite use.. Creaking as the old rat walked.

"I understand," Leo said. "What is the task, Father?"

Mona looked up at Raph who was dragging the knuckles of his fist along the brickwork. She grabbed the wrist of that arm and made him stop. Raph glared at her.

"This task won't be easy for you. You will be forced to remove yourself from the city.. The life you had become comfortable with.. Across the world is the only true way you can train to become a better leader," Splinter said.

Leo looked down at the mat in front of his knees. Brow creased with his mind working around the task.. His own worry and concern poking at the back of his conscious thought.

"Across the world?" He asked, uncertain. "Does it matter which place I choose?"

"You must learn protection, how to hide completely within your surroundings and how to protect from afar.." Splinter said as he uncurled a map.

Leo felt something sink into his stomach that felt like very large lump of metal.

"The Five-Fold Path shall lead you to the One… Do you understand?" Splinter asked.

"No, Father," Leo admitted.

Mona shut her eyes tightly. Heart in her throat and her pulse threatening to break out of her skin.

"You shall. But not until your journey has been completed," Splinter said, looking over the map. "And remember this… my son. Many have the ability. But few have the courage."

"I shall leave in the morning," Leo said as he got up.

Mona watched as Raph stormed off. Once Leo exited the chamber he glanced over his shoulder. Mona thought that perhaps it was because he knew she would have chosen that area… But the look on his face told her other wises. He looked defeated and worried. She put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"It's alright," She replied, giving a small weak smile. "Guess it would help if the Dojo had a Sensei who completed his training.. Right?"

Somehow a smile crept onto Leo's face and he glanced at her.

"You're taking this a lot better than I thought," he said.

Mona turned her eyes to see Raph watching her and Leo. Leo turned to look at him as well. Raph gave them some kind of venomous glare before going into the kitchen.

"He isn't," Mona said quietly.

Leo's mouth went into a thin line.

"And no," She said. "I'm not going to follow you on this one. You have to do this alone."

He tilted her head, then put a hand on her forearm.

"Come on," he said.

"Where we going?" She asked, following his lead.

"Trust me. Grab the coats," Leo replied.

Mona quickly grabbed their trench coats and hats. Mikey and Don both waved as they exited the lair. Leo let go of her arm once they were out. She popped his baseball cap onto his head and handed him his coat. As she walked she pulled on her worn in cowboy hat and black trench coat.

"So what's the plan?" She asked.

"Dinner with April and Casey," Leo said.

She smiled, "Oh?"

"Yeah they offered once, so might as well take up the offer tonight," Leo said.

Mona sped up her pace to keep up with him and put her hands on his forearm. He gave a light smile and kept walking. She was happy for the time away, but wondered if it had anything to do with him leaving in the morning. She felt her smile drift into a calm look. It really had nothing to do with his trip. For as she knew it might not even be that long of a trip. Maybe a few weeks.. Or a month all together. Not a big deal. She must have been lost in thought the entire trip, since she suddenly found herself at April's apartment door and watched Leo rap his knuckles along the door.

The door popped open and Casey greeted them. First he looked slightly confused then suddenly he put a arm around Leo's shoulder and gave Leo's head a playful light jab.

"Nice to see you opted to come see us. April will be home inna few minutes. Last minute grocery run," Casey said letting them in.

"Hmm well that explains Raph's bad mood lately," Casey said, closing the door.

Leo tilted his head and took off his coat. Mona followed suit. She then took their coats and hung them on the coat rack.

"Raph hasn't exactly been the model citizen for awhile now," Leo said. "There's a difference?"

"Well… not exactly his normal charming self ever since the fox girl left the ranks," Casey said.

"I didn't know that much about her," Mona said. "So I'm not sure what to tell you."

Casey shrugged, "I learned never to jab Raph for details. He's got a way of getting spiteful for that."

"Getting?" Mona asked, more to herself.

"Hey I'm home!" A voice echoed.

Mona turned and came over and took one of the bags from April.

"Well hello stranger!" April smiled. "Nice to see you and Leo took up the offer."

Mona went into the kitchen with her bag, "It was more of his idea, I just followed."

April glanced at Leo, who in return gave a calm smile. April looked at Mona's back as the mutant begin to put the groceries away.

"What's the meal idea?" Leo asked.

"Chicken," April said. "That one dish you rather like."

He smirked, "That'll be nice."

"Should you tell them now? Or wait until after dinner?"

April and Casey both had confused looks on their faces. Leo sighed and sat back in couch.

"I have one last bit of training," Leo said. "I have to leave the country to finish it."

"How far away are we talking about here?" Casey asked.

"I… don't know," Leo said.

Mona and Leo enjoyed their meal and drinks with April and Casey. Once home they had watched movies with his brothers and had more drinks. It was a nice reunion to remind them of the time of long past, when things were a lot more simple and so much less complicated. It was late when one by one the brothers drifted off to their own rooms. Soon Mona found herself sitting alone on the couch and she covered her eyes with her elbows on her knees. The chance of living a separate life from everyone seemed to be far away. She didn't feel that comfortable with her or Splinter coming back to the lair. But she knew it was the best option. The easiest. But it still hurt. He was still leaving and she didn't even know how long it would be. Weeks… Months… Years… When she uncovered her eyes she noticed Leo standing his doorway, leaning against the door jam. He stepped aside almost in like a silent invitation to go in. She shut off the TV and headed towards the doorway. Leo gave her a calm smile as she walked in and then pulled the door shut behind her.

Her mind was aware of dawn before her body was. Mona fought with her body to wake up, to make sure she didn't miss him leaving. She opened one eye to see him sitting on the edge of the bed leaning over her sleeping form. She gave a sleepy smile as he flicked hair out of her eyes.

"When are you leaving?" She asked.

"In about twenty minutes," he said.

She pulled on his arm to make him lay back on the bed again. He chuckled as she draped a arm around his neck. He rest the side of his head against the hollow of her neck.

"How long do you think it might take?" She asked quietly.

"I'm not sure," he replied.

" I… uh.. Will still be here when you get back," She said.

He put his hands on the arm draped around his neck.

"Think you'll be able to stand living here while I'm gone?" he asked.

"I can do my best," she said.

"Would you mind keeping an eye on them?" he asked. "It's not that I don't trust Raph… I do.. But he has a way of forgetting how things should be done."

She sighed, "I can do my best."

He sighed and glanced at his watch. Slowly he got up and stretched. She got out of bed and began to get dressed again. Trying to silence her thoughts and trying desperately not to think about what his departure would do to her. He had his back to her as he pulled the duffel over his shoulder.

" … I keep wondering if we're supposed to say something meaningful right now," He said.

" I.. don't know," Mona said. "I mean… I don't even know what to say."

He glanced back at her, "Walk with me top side, perhaps by then we'll figure it out."


	6. Summer 1999

**Summer 1999**

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months. Mona stayed at the lair, and by the time it had been five months since Leo left things shifted into a rhythm. She and Mikey would exchange cooking duties. She'd make coffee or squeeze juice for them. Still training still enjoying the time she spent with her 'brothers'. It almost seemed she and Raph even patched up their friendship.. If you called it that. She stayed out of his way and did the occasional bandage tending when he needed it. She never asked him where he'd go.. Not because she was afraid to.. But she felt she rather not know. She blamed stress for all her insomnia. Worrying about Mikey and the birthday parties, about Splinter and his all too present cough. She was already becoming afraid of how her new family had effects on her state of mind. She used to be a loner, quiet and reserved. But now it was so different.

It was stupid curiosity that made Mona follow Raphael out of the lair. And more for her to follow him. Wordlessly she watched as he changed into a most strange outfit and pull on a helmet. She blinked realizing just what she had been watching. But it made sense. The bruising.. The sleeping all day.. Raphael had been hiding the fact he was the Nightwatcher. Before she could follow him more a strange noise in the alley got her attention. It was just brief enough she lost sight of him. She cursed and made her way back towards the sewer entrance.

Then she heard it again. Metal dragging along cement. She stopped walking again and wished she had remembered to bring a weapon. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a weighted ball on a chain zoom past her head. She spun around to find Raphael approaching her in the strange get up.

"Shit," Mona thought. "This is not the time… Not the best time for any of it."

"You enjoy invading privacy?" He asked, voice almost masked by the helmet.

That chain was pulled back towards him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," She said.

He stalked towards her twirling the chain around in one hand. She didn't bother to step back.

"If you have any urge to tell the others about this… You may find me very un likeable," he warned.

Mona frowned at him, "You just keep going out of your way to make yourself into the bad guy.. And that get up doesn't help."

He was now face to face with her and glaring down. Her mouth stayed a thin line.

"Go home, Mona. I'm in no mood for games tonight," he growled.

Sometimes.. She missed the blundering younger version of him. Like she did tonight. Without another word she chose to finish her walk towards the sewer access. She wanted to make things better with Raph. She got along well with his brothers. And rather well with Leo. She sighed and jumped through the access and made her way back to the lair. The hollow feeling in her chest was coming back. It made her ache and she pressed a hand to her chest. She kept walking letting her body bring itself back 'home' while her mind was to other things.

Five months with no word. No call no letter.. She wondered if he was alright. If the training was going like he had hoped. Before she could let her mind sink in farther the chirping of her cell got her attention. She flicked it open.

"Hello?" She asked.

There was a bit of static first. Her face screwed up.

"Good you're awake," the familiar voice said.

Suddenly her heart was in her throat.

"I didn't think you'd call," she said.

"I hadn't been able to find a phone so I could," he said. "I'm not going to have a lot of time however."

"I'm… happy to hear your voice," She said.

She sat down on a old wooden box.

"Are things.. Alright there?" he asked.

"Alright as they can be. Everyone misses you. Raph's denying it of course," She said.

"What about you?" he asked.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you," She said.

He laughed slightly, "I admit the same myself."

"How… much longer you think you'll be there?" she asked quietly.

"I wish I knew," Leo said. "The villagers just started to trust the 'ghost of the jungle'."

Mona sighed, "Leo…."

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Please be careful, okay? I don't want to see you sent back here in a box," she said.

Something else had been on the tip of her tongue. But she couldn't say it. Not when he wasn't in person in front of her.

"Trust me, when I come home it'll be alive and breathing," he said. "I need to go Mona."

Her breath caught in her throat. She tried to force herself to say it. She HAD to say it.

"I'll… see you soon," She said.

Then the line went dead. Mona covered her eyes with a hand.


	7. Winter 1999

**Winter 1999**

"You're rather quiet tonight," Don said.

Mona looked up from her book, "Just… distracted."

Don spun the screw driver between his fingers a few moments.

"I… I'm starting to think moving back here was a bad idea," she said quietly.

Don blinked and looked at her, "What led you to that idea?"

"He hates me because of my choice," Mona said.

Don sighed and rubbed the handle of the screwdriver against his head.

"Raph hates just about everything," Don said. "So it's most likely not that."

Mona slumped into the back of her chair, "I feel bad we've been reduced to this. How I could go from being his friend to being his enemy."

He gave another sigh, "Raph just hasn't been the same for while. He probably hadn't even mentioned the circumstances involving Ninjara leaving. Maybe if he did then you'd understand."

Mona watched Don, who in return was watching her.

"Would that change things? She asked.

"It might," Don said. "It's worth at least the attempt."

She closed her book and slowly got up, heading towards the fridge. She plucked out two beers and then went up the stairs leading towards Mikey and Raph's rooms. She tapped the side of one of the bottles against the half opened door.

"Come in," he said.

She pushed the door open with her free hand and he tilted his head at her.

"What's the occasion, Mona?" he asked.

"I think perhaps we ought to have a real conversation for once, instead of talking at each other," she said.

He took the other beer from her with a eye raised.

"You have a subject in mind?" he asked.

She sat down on the ledge of Raph's desk while he sat in his computer chair. She looked at his wall a moment, choosing her words.

"What happened with her?" She asked.

Raph leaned back in the chair and set his feet on the desk, crossed at the ankle. He folded his arms in front of his chest.

"You really want to have this conversation now?" he asked.

"I'm here aren't I?" Mona asked in return.

Raph sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Which time?" he asked.

"What made her to choose to stay in Alaska," Mona said.

He watched her a moment.

"It was before April chose to go back to her antique business. When she was trying to be a reporter," Raph said. "The six of us had been making our way to Alaska to follow up on a assignment she had."

Mona sat and listened as he told her about Mokoshan's first meeting of them, of Ninjara's reaction to him and of the situation. Including Ninjara almost losing her life because of her wanting to protect a group of wolves from a hunter. By the end of the telling Mona was sitting quietly, the empty beer resting between her hands. She stared at the mouth of the empty bottle with a blank expression.

She saw the similarities in that situation to the one now. Raphael had been genuinely in love with Ninjara, and in the end they parted because things had died down. She had gone to another who best Raphael in a fight. And here Mona was, someone he knew from the past. Someone he had cared for before and she was going to someone else. It made her feel guilty, all the 'bad things' he had done in her mind's eye? Wasn't bad things. He was trying to make things work with them. And she kept refusing because his tactics wasn't what she was assumed to.

" … I see why you're so angry now," She said quietly. "About Leo… About me with Leo."

He watched her, swaying the bottle between the arm draped behind the chair.

"You've always seen me and always assumed I was the same Raph from the birthday cruise. I was a teenager back then. Most obviously now I'm not. We both are at fault for not seeing the other for who they are now." Raph said. "I know that has been our mistake."

She sighed and slumped her sitting position.

"What do you see in him that you don't see in me?" he asked.

Her face screwed up a moment and she looked at him.

"Calm nature, quiet and peaceful when you're a storm. Requests instead of demands," she said. "Someone who wants to be my friend instead of wanting me to warm their bed."

He sighed, "What do you expect from us now, Mona?"

"I haven't told them about your… third shift 'job'. Although I know Donnie already knows. I'll keep your secret. I don't want to fight with you anymore and I don't want you to be upset with me anymore," She said.

He dropped his feet from their position on the desk and moved the chair to be in front of her. She watched as he got up and pulled the empty bottle of her hands. She didn't try to move and just watched as he coaxed her knees to move so he could be closer to her.

"How long do you intend to keep that a secret?" he asked, his face now close to one of her ears.

She tried to coax her body to move but she found herself firmly rooted to the spot. A red flush came to her cheeks.

"Until you choose to reveal it yourself," She said.

She wasn't sure how thing ended up going into the direction it did. Afterwards she felt worse than she did before entering the room. She felt like a traitor. Like she betrayed her friendship with Leo with her actions within the room. While Raph was still asleep she re dressed and exited the room. She pushed herself into the shower and stood under the hot water. Eyes clenched shut she stood there. After a few moments she peeled her eyes open and stared at the tile pattern on the wall. She felt bile rising in her throat and she retched into the tub. Coughing as hot tears went down her face. Once the evidence washed down the drain she shut the water off. Within moments she was dried off and heading back to her room. She brought out her duffel bag and began to pack her things into it. Once she fit all she had brought in she pulled on her shoes and began to walk out of the lair. She felt the presence before she turned to see Splinter watching her from his doorway. She swallowed and wiped fresh tears away from her face. She gave a shaky bow of respect to him.

"I'm sorry, Sensei," she said quietly.

He walked towards her, cane gently tapping against the cement floor. He returned the bow and she made her way towards the exit. Once she disappeared and the bricks slid back together again Splinter sighed.


	8. Summer 2000

**Summer 2000:**

He wasn't sure how to approach the subject. Or who to even ask. How do you find someone who for all appearances just disappeared completely? Spite the two numbers Mona had previously, both were no longer in service. The Dojo had even been empty. It made no sense to him. No word, nothing. Just gone. He sat on the ledge of April's building. Leaning with his elbows on his knees.

"Want some company?" A soft voice asked.

Leo glanced over his shoulder and saw April. He gave a uneasy smile.

"Sure," Leo said.

She sat down next to him on the ledge.

"Doesn't take a genius to notice something's bothering you," April said.

"That obvious?" Leo asked.

She leaned her weight on one hand and glanced at him.

"Yeah," April said. "Though I think I know what's the issue."

"I didn't even think about her when I came back. I was too stuck on getting the guys back into order.. Then with Winters and the monsters," Leo said, "How could I have not noticed?"

"It happens Leo," April said with a sigh, looking at the street below. "Sometimes we just get distracted and fail to notice things."

"You didn't know she left either," Leo said.

"Raph had been the last one to see her," April said. "From what I gathered something happened that made her choose to leave. Her number turned 'no longer in service' a couple of days later."

He sighed and straightened his posture.

"She had her reasons, I'm guessing," he said.

April pat his shell, "She'll come back, she did before."

The look he gave made it seem he wasn't that convinced.

"The part that bothers me the most," He said, watching the street.

She glanced at him.

"She was the one I actually hoped to see before everyone else," he said quietly.

April got up and made her way back down to the fire escape.

"I wish I knew what to tell you, Leo," She said. "I really do."

She passed Raph as she went down the fire escape. Leo tilted his head as his brother joined him on the roof.

"Tag team?" Leo asked.

"Nah," Raph said. "Too stuffy in her place right now."

Leo looked down at the street again. Raph stood near the ledge, arms folded in front of his chest.

"You're being quiet," Raph said. "Even for you."

Leo popped his neck, trying to ignore what he figured was the start of another helpful conversation. But it wasn't going to work.

"You're the one who saw her last," Leo said.

Raph gave a confused look before it turned to a frustrated one.

"So you're assuming I'd know where she took of to?" Raph asked. "She didn't tell me shit. I was dead to the world when she left."

All he had wanted was to see her again and at least steal some kind of comfortable relaxation time with her. That want was slipping through his fingers like a evil slippery eel. He swore this wasn't like her, to run away from a problem.

"She made her choice, Leo," Raph said. "I'm not going to say 'I told you so' when it comes to her. She left us before as a teenager and here she did it again. I'm not surprised and neither should you be."

Leo watched Raph as he talked. The tone of his voice didn't match his facial expressions. Leo felt the frown come to his face.

"….What did you do, Raph?" he asked.

"I didn't do anything to her," Raph said. "It's done and it's over with. Move on. I have."

Leo found himself becoming angry. One fist clenched between his knees. He quickly got up and made his way to the fire escape.

"And just where are you going?" Raph asked.

"None of your damn business," Leo said disappearing down the fire escape.

The group inside the apartment gave Leo confused looks as he dug into April's closet to retrieve his trench coat and hat. Raph jumped inside. Leo looked back at Raph, pulling on his hat.

"I unlike you, have a conscience and morals. I leave for one fucking year and this place falls apart. For once, Raph, you should stop touching things that never were yours in the first place. All you do is shatter and destroy," Leo said.

Raph watched him, one hand clenched into a fist.

"You can't blame all of this on me, Leo. YOU have as much blame as I do!" Raph exclaimed. "She knew fully well how I felt about her. But she knew nothing of what you felt. Your 'bonsai tree' state of mind has got to change. You ever think THAT is the reason why she had left?"

Leo looked more frustrated than ever. But he knew Raph had a point. Leo crossed the room and finished pulling on his trench. He quickly made his exit and Raph glanced at his brothers, who just seemed shocked about the exchange.

"Oh shut up," Raph said going back up the fire escape.

Several hours later Don found Leo coming back into the lair. He and Leo shared a glance and Leo made his way to the fridge.

"Raph already zonked out, and Mikey's still at April's," Don said.

Leo gave a grunt for a response. Don rubbed the back of his neck and he found a beer being offered to him.

"Uh, thanks?" Don asked.

Leo sat down in the spare computer chair next to Don. The two of them opened their bottles.

"No problem," Leo mumbled.

"You seemed pretty angry earlier," Don said.

"Not angry.. Just… Frustrated," Leo said.

Don took a gulp from his beer with a slight cringe. He never quite understood why some of his brothers enjoyed beer. He wasn't exactly a fan of the stuff.

"I admit I've wondered where Mona had left, but.. Honestly I felt she perhaps knew what she was doing," Don said. "I can't give you advice on what to do about it.. Or how to feel.."

"I don't expect advice, Donnie," Leo said.

"We do have one last resort to finding her," Don said, thoughtful look on his face. "Since all the other routes came up empty."

"Such as?" Leo asked.

"Unlike us, Mona was human once. A previous life, including a social security number, things like that. Using that and some.. Ahem special programs she can be tracked down," Don said. "She could have simply chosen to visit family."

"I'm not sure if you're trying to make me feel better, or want to know yourself," Leo said taking a drink.

"Both, actually," Don said. "She's a friend of mine too."

Leo chuckled, "Thanks."

"I'll get started later tonight on that," Don said. "It might take some time before we get a hit."

Don clinked his bottle against Leo's who returned the gesture.

"How about we try to beat Mikey in his fave game? It's a good distraction," Don said.

"Sure," Leo replied.


	9. Summer 2001

**Summer 2001:**

Don's search to find Mona Lisa proved fruitless. The programs searched for nearly three months to find her, and no trace had been found. It had been a sad misfortune that disappointed the brothers. But time had a way of healing wounds.. Or at least help them to hide the unfortunate truth he had to harbor within himself. Guilt for one brother, and strange emotion in another.

Leo and Raph walked along the side walk, their appearance disguised by trench coats and hats. Leo had taken to wearing Mona's discarded beat up cowboy hat and Raph kept his simple black ball cap. It was already becoming easier to be walking among the humans in the city.

"Donnie updated me on how his company idea is going," Raph said.

"He mentioned it to me. I know before he wanted to give it a try," Leo said holding the door open.

Raph walked into the mini mart and Leo followed him. They went towards the cooler on the back wall and Leo watched their reflections on the glass. On a far door he had sworn he saw a familiar image. He stopped near the cooler and looked down the aisle. He blinked as the image disappeared from the cooler door and realized there was no one else even nearby.

A hand clapped on Leo's shoulder and he clenched a fist ready to spin and punch. Raph let go of his shoulder.

"I could have…" Leo trailed off.

Raph blinked at him and Leo shook his head. He pulled a twelve pack from the cooler and Leo picked a jug of orange juice out.

"Thought you saw her?" Raph asked quietly.

Leo frowned, "No."

Raph sighed and brought the purchase up front. The guy at the counter chuckled.

"Hey guys," the heavy set man said. "Another beer and bad movie night?"

"Yeah," Raph said.

The man rang up the order and Raph paid him. The man gave him change back and the two exited the mart. Leo adjusted the plastic bag he held onto.

"I'm going to take part of his company idea," Leo said.

"You too?" Raph asked. "If we pull all our funds together we could manage it. I think April's even thinking about throwing her side in. Given she has… Winter Enterprises."

Leo clicked his tongue a moment.

"This wasn't the life I expected us to have," he said. "Being able to be topside, not hated. I expected us to remain hermits."

"Turns out that's just not the case," Raph said. "Not anymore."

"There isn't much of anything else left. The Shredder… The Real and Ch'rell. We still have to work and protect the city, just in another form," Leo said.

"Always the leader eh?" Raph asked, amused. "Some things never change."

"We'll see, I guess," Leo said. "The Dojo isn't exactly going to be how I had planned it, but it can be done."

"Maybe I'm being hopeful for you," Raph said. "But just maybe this enterprise idea will bring Mona out. She's turning out to be more Ninja then I expected."

Leo gave a light chuckle, "She kept Splinter company while we had been gone, And she's prone to being a insomniac I'm pretty sure she found good use of her time."

"And living with you," Raph said. "Her own personal teacher."

Leo snorked, "It wasn't always like that, but yes, something to that point."

The two of them went into the sewer access and made their way through the familiar tunnels to the lair. Leo's frown returned as they walked. Raph remained quiet on until they reached home. Once there Mikey relieved them of the two bags and put them away. The movies were already being picked out and Leo chose to escape towards Splinter's room.

"No partakin' Leo?" Mikey asked.

"Not right now, Mikey," Leo said. "Maybe later."

He slipped into Splinter's room and got himself into the lotus position in front of Splinter's small table. The old rat gave a light smile when he sensed his son's presence. Leo let his breathing become slow and easy. Leo had lately doing more meditation to soothe his mind and Splinter had no problem with the choice. However, sometimes the old rat had to remember he was their father as well as their Sensei.

It was easy to escape into Meditation. Gave Leo time to reflect on the past, maybe even try to wrap his head around the future. And if he focused well enough he could almost feel where that 'second part' of his life had disappeared to.

When Leo opened his eyes again he found himself in a completely different room. Mirrors ran across one wall with a tall table with a cluster of candles in the center. He got up from the floor and attempted to find the door to leave only to find one not there.

"You're letting the past cloud the present, Leonardo," A familiar voice said.

Leo spun around to find Karai at a corner of the room, armed and facing him. Wearing the armor she has used as The Shredder. Leo pulled one of his katana from the scabbard and readied himself.

"Too many old memories," Another voice echoed. "Of people long since dead."

The new voice and face almost made him drop the katana. It had been years since he had even thought of the other face. Lotus Blossom. The wound still present on her stomach, old caked blood showcasing what her untimely end had been.

"You choose to push the past away, but it still comes back. You let it haunt your thoughts, cloud your judgment," Karai said.

He grit his teeth, "You aren't real."

Karai put her blade away and bowed, "We were once. Important to you and your honor."

Lotus soon turned into dust that swirled at his feet.

"When will you learn, Leonardo?" Karai asked.

Suddenly she was in front of him, one hand placed on the side of his neck. Leo stepped from her. Her blade was against his neck again. Lightening quick he grabbed her wrist and stole the blade. She growled at him and he spun swinging the blade. Instead of feeling the blade run through flesh and bone, it felt like it went through air instead. The form of Karai disappeared in front of him. He gripped the blade tightly, until his knuckles grew white.

"This isn't what I wanted!" Leo shouted. "Show yourself!"

The room shifted, the mirrors melted away and twisted and warped into tall trees with bright green leaves. Wide open space took over the room and the table disappeared alongside the candles. In the distance he could see a familiar shape on a hill. After a moment of debate he found himself running towards the shape. The shape turned to look back at him. The familiar face of Mona stabbed something inside of him. Her skin was paler and her eyes looked hollow and tired.

"… Then what do you want, Leonardo?" She asked.

Her mouth didn't move and she didn't even seem like she was breathing.

"I want my life back," Leo said. "I want the peace and comfort like I had before."

"The peace and comfort?" She asked. "The peace and comfort will die unless you find it again."

"Donnie already tried," Leo said. "We found no trace of you."

"You didn't look hard enough," She said. "If you care as much as you think, you will find me."

"And if I don't find you?" he asked.

"Then you never loved me at all," She said.

He moved towards her and reached out a hand, she did the same.

"Where are you?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," She said.

Slowly she began to darken and scatter into the wind. Leo darted forwards to try and grab onto her. Once close enough her form fell apart into dust. He closed his eyes and clench his fist. Once he opened his eyes he found himself back in Splinter's room. The old rat watching him. Leo looked down at his hands to see dust and soot on them. Leo quickly got up onto his feet and quickly exited the room.

"Leonardo!" Splinter called after him.

Leo went past his brothers on the couch and towards one of the shell cycles.

"Where's the fire, Leo?" Don asked.

"No time," Leo said revving the engine. "I.. I have a hunch."

He then sped out of the lair and into the back sewer tunnels. Within a few moments he could hear more cycles behind him. He sped through the winding tunnels as his mind went into overdrive. He could only think of one place they hadn't looked in. The only place that could have been a last resort. The sounds of his brothers grew closer. Leo took the headset out of his shell cell and pulled it on, one hand still on the handle bars.

"What the hell are you doing?" Leo asked.

"About to ask you the same thing, Leo," Raph replied.

"I said I had a hunch," Leo said.

"Leo, I know the route we're going, it's a dead end," Don added.

Leo set his jaw and pressed the motor to speed up. Very quickly he noticed the terrain hadn't changed. the rumbled tunnel's new dead end was about to greet him rather violently. He grit his teeth and twisted the cycle and hit the brake. It skid along the old cement before coming to rest just inches from the dead end.

"I told you, a dead end," Don said stopping his cycle.

"This was the last place I could think of," Leo said, more to himself.

Leo didn't notice his brothers giving confused faces as he watched the rubble. He had searched everywhere, the old lair was the only place left to look.. But there was no way in past the rubble. She couldn't have squeezed herself past any of it.

"Bro," Mikey said. "Let's just get back home. No one can get past that rubble."

He knew it probably seemed crazy. They probably thought he lost his mind. And he really wished that had been the case. It would be far easier to excuse his behavior that way. He shook his head and spun the cycle around and sped back towards home. He rarely seemed to act this way. So prone to being the strong and calm one. Though he did have times he acted more like Raph.

He needed to forget what happened before. All he was doing was chasing ghosts. She left, end of story. The end of things before they had even begun. It could have been handled differently between them. He should have spoken up, even if it made him sound foolish.


End file.
